Conflict

Background: I have taken a training class for intergroup dialogue facilitation and I am currently teaching a class with similar structure to IG dialogues. Dialogues are small group conversations that revolve around understanding personal experiences as a foundation for understanding social issues. The goal is to have all participants be as open about themselves and their beliefs as possible with the goal of everyone inthe group fostering understanding of everyone else's views. Due to the vulnerable and personal nature of dialogue, conflict between members is inevitable. Another note, diference between safety and comfort. One can feel safe but uncomfortable, but not unsafe and comfortable.


Conflict is not all bad. That is not to say it cannot be bad, many kinds of conflict are terrible and have resulted in the most atrocious acts on this plaent(violent, ignorant, etc.). What I am trying to explore is the conflict that happens as a result of cognitive dissonance. When two people who have different beliefs are trying to understand each other. This kind of conflict comes up all of the time. Can't think of an example? Try families; teen rebellion is like an advanced course in conflict. In dialogue, we strive for (and occasionally instigate) this kind of safe, but uncomfortable conflict. To do this, it helps to feel comfortale with conflict.

This is the concept I want to get to. I certainly believe that a faclitator can feel comfortable with conflict, perhaps with the concession that they are not apart of the conflict. I am not at this point and I wonder howit might feel to be able to separate my own emotions from those of a conflict in my class. Will I need to distance myself from what is occuring so that I may help the participants explore the conflict? Is it possible for me to not feel uneasy when conflict is occuring in my class without being a sociopath?

The other part of this topic is how one manages personal conflict. I do not think it is possible to feel comfortable when experiencing conflict (note how this is different from above), but I do think it is possible to be distressed with the knowledge that the result of conflict is change, so life will be different when it is over. Personal example: Conflict with mother; something I have avoided at great cost. I have recently noticed that I am becoming increasingly comfortable with conflict with my mother. No longer will I sit in a puddle of my emotions with the passive agressive attitude I learned while growing up!