The've done it!
It's done

They have created an equation to find the worst day of the year.
What psychologist really has such depressing patients that he would want to find that one day that ist just shit?

This guy

The model is: [W + (D-d)] x TQ
M x NA

The equation is broken down into seven variables: (W) weather, (D) debt, (d) monthly salary, (T) time since Christmas, (Q) time since failed quit attempt, (M) low motivational levels and (NA) the need to take action.
Jennifer Carlile
Reporter
MSNBC (click to read the whole story)
Updated: 1:51 a.m. ET Jan. 24, 2005

The other day when I was walking into blockbuster, someone asked my why she never saw me on the stage. and that got me thinking again as to why we do what we do.

When we are young, infants, we do what we do because we do. We drink milk because we do. We eat what is fed to us because we do. and we grow because we do. It is animal instinct to live and the only thing that can change that is thousands of years of evolution in one direction or another. We do what we do to live.

In early childhood, we learn. We have survived so far, but it looks like we will have to adapt if we are to continue. We learn to do everything. We learn to communicate, we learn to effectively transport our selves, we learn to interact with others, we are sponges that absorb more than even the strongest quicker picker upper. We also learn fun. Fun is what our life becomes obsessed with as we journey farther into life. We love fun in all of its shapes and sizes. We love fun no matter the color or creed. We love fun even without regard to species. life is fun is life.

Later in childhood, what I like to refer to as the 'when I was young' ages, we learn falsehoods. We learn to lie, cheat, scam, and worst of all, we learn emotions. Learn isn't the right words, I just used it for repetition. Seriously, we learn to dilute and complicate our emotions. The barest of feelings we code in cliche words and macaroni hearts and the cute little drawings we hang on the fridge. We code them and give them to others to decipher hoping that they will somehow feel what you felt while you meticulously glue those glitter covered macaroni around your favorite family picture. why? because we want trust. We want the secure knowledge that everyone you know will be here tomorrow, just as they are today, and that you and you and you and I can go play with him and her and him and their dogs. and we play and dream. We dream of our future and of fun we can have when we grow up. Of walking on the moon and of discovering dinosaurs and of saving people from burning buildings. We dream of the world as it should be from our eyes. And never NEVER! do these dreams ever leave us, no matter how hard you try at any stage in your life can you rid yourself of the pure, angelic, untainted hope that gleam in your eyes. we dream of a good life. because life is good. Life is free, lovely, fun.

Then something happens. Whitecoats call it 'maturation'. The body grows and as a result so does our intelligence and wisdom. but that is not what we are worried about. No. we are on stage. We have hit Broadway and we are the stars of the show. ((unless that bitch who thinks she is all that comes over and steals my part that I have worked so hard to make, practicing since I was young risking everything on that audition and just because she knows the 'casting director'. I can't believe she wouldn't let me into that show.)) The show that everybody watches, not at home on their televisors but in life. The show, the drama, the production that life has become. No longer is fun what I care about because fun doesn't make me fit in. Fun doesn't make me skinny or smart or popular...because that's what everyone else wants. we act to fit in. we live to act. because we want trust. We want the secure knowledge that everyone you know will be here tomorrow, just as they are today, and that you and you and you and I can go play with him and her and him...but not her, she isn't good enough for the part. We want acceptance. We want it need it crave it. Like a drug, we take it when we can get it, spending the money our parents give us, thinking we are going to the movies hahaha, we are really spending it, investing it in friendships. Some last for the rest of our lives, some for less time than it takes to say "you little bitch" to the back of a head that is storming out of the theater. we don't even know why we do it, it isn't doesn't even make sense. we don't trust it because we can't see it, but it is in us. The instinct, our bodies know that the people that surround us are going to surround us for the rest of our lives. They are always going to be the same age, or three years younger, or five years older. Not even orbiting the planet will make you younger because you will never get there. Being an astronaut is the dream of a child. A dream that you can clearly remember, the pure, angelic, naked hope that one day you will make it and be great. and it is that dream, that hope, which now is covered under the makeup from the play, that keeps those of us from slitting our wrists and doing the drugs that only bury that hope further in the dirt. But it is still there. the gleam of something more than this act. because this act isn't our life, it is everybody else guessing what everybody else wants them to be. groupthink I think the white coats call it. and we are almost out. the act is almost over, and we have made it through because of that hope. we live to hope, and the others hope to live because what they did to themselves was too much.

finally, we are out. Still stuck in high school, but we now live to be free. we have made it, with more than our share of scars and stories. and we help who we can, because we know what it was like. But now things are different. now we look back on all that we have accomplished, and lost. we look back to our lives of acceptance and groupthink. We look back to the days of dreams and learning, and we look back to the days of life. the days that we lived to live. nothing to complicate it. nobody telling you their opinion while you furiously scribble notes into the notebook you bought with the money from your job at the movies. because we see it now, we see the life we have. We think we understand, but nobody knows everything. and we read stories about big bears of men who have found bliss. True bliss in the form of play, not even with humans but with bears and with dogs and with monkeys. People who live to live. who live to play, who work so that they can live. and we also see the other person who has built the empire of technology. who stands at the top watching over their floor of directors that looks down to their floors and so on. and they all work. to get money, to invest it in their things, hopefully their kids, and try to make a living. the live to work. and we look at those roads, and all the others in between living to work and working to live, because that is what we have been shown. and it is our decision now, to choose our path, or better yet make a new one. and forge ahead into the world...to be remembered.

and then, our train of thought comes to a screeching halt. because there was a noise. a voice actually, but one you haven't heard before. ...his first word, her first favorite word. The years have just flown by. and they are playing outside, having fun. they are five, full of radiant hope, just as you were. and they both love their first word and say it all the time.

why

"Why?" they ask you. why do we want to be remembered? because we want people to know that we have made a difference in this world. why? because we want to know that someone cared about what we did. why? because it is like when you made that macaroni picture and your mom put it on the fridge, because we want trust. We want the secure knowledge that everyone you know will be here tomorrow, just as they are today, and that him and him and her and her can work to make the world a better place for you and you and her. why? because our life wasn't perfect, and we don't want you to have to go through what we did. why? because we care about you, we want you to know that we will be here tomorrow just as we are today, and that our lives are for you. We live for you. and you live for the future. we live in you and you live because of us. why? because, as the writers at disney managed to phrase very well, it is the circle of life. and I honestly believe that in the end, we live for each other, for one reason or another. Whether it is instinct to pass our genes on, or because we just like having sex, or because we are all one being trying to survive in the world, or because a higher power said it would be a good idea. we live to give to the future, and hope it did some good.

what do you do when you can't reach what you want
when it is just out of bounds but you keep on trying
staring too long at the prize to miss the cliff


--oops, wrote that a while ago and never posted it. haha