Off the Radar

I just finished watching an episode of Boston Legal.Let me first get you in my shoes, in my frame of mind:

Tonight I want to talk about something not happy.

Tonight I want to talk about something not happy.

The mere fact that I would WANT to talk about something that makes me unhappy seems against what humans are for. I am currently reading Stumbling for Happiness (and Power, Freedom and Grace) in both books, the authors have come to the conclusions that what we want in life is happiness. That is what people look for. Yet here I am, wanting to be unhappy. Not only that, I want to make other people unhappy too. Misery love company, eh? What I want to practice before I get into things is a little visualization exercise. There are going to be three, each taking you to a level of less and less happiness. My goal is to make you miserable. I'm sorry if I offend anyone. here goes:

1) What a great morning! How can it not be? It's your birthday! You look out the window, the sun is just now creeping into the sky, light purple. What a view. The room is a little cold, but the bed is just how it should be. Nice and Cozy. Only one thing missing. Your Partner! and that's when it hits you. Your heart starts racing...not there...you can hardly see...but you can smell, oh you can smell. That strong reeking smell, the kind that can make some people vomit, the kind that could wake you out of a coma: Colombian Coffee. How coffee could make someone vomit you're not quite sure, but you just woke up so who cares? You hop into your brand new slippers andwalk. Past the kids bedroom and down the stairs right into the kitchen where your partner is making breakfast NAKED....wait no, just wearing a shirt that resembles skin color. Breakfast for two as the sun rises, how could this day get any better? With work of course!
Work has never been like this before. Normally most people are gloomy and not looking forward to another day at work, but it seems like a wallmart greeter convention, everyone is smiling and cheery to see you...How strange, its only 8 in the morning! Your desk has a three cards on it, one from your boss, one from Jon(one of your co-workers, he's a sound engineer, funny guy) and the other is from your kids. Poorly drawn, four blobs, two purple, one red and one blue. Thats your family. Right there. How simple. It doesn't matter what you are really does it? You are family, you've got brothers and sisters and...that song hasn't been played in a LOOONG time. This day can't get any better. You're right. It can't. It's 8:46 a.m. There's an earthquake. 600 people die. Instantly, A blast of heat hits you and you see flames shoot out of the stair wells and elevator shaft. The day doesn't get any better. You're in hell, there is fire everywhere, smoke barreling in, breathing is hard. Can't stand anymore. All you need is some air, you need to get out, people are screaming. The card, your family portrait is in your hand which are both obscured by the smoke. You can't see much, all you can think about is crawling towards the light coming in the window. You get there, sitting where you can breath a little and there is only one thought going through your mind. You will never see your family again. You here a voice that sounds familiar. It's Jon! He's running really quick right towards you...not you, the window, he ran right out the window. But it doesn't matter, you will never see your family again. At exactly 10:28 a.m. that is a true fact. Your family will never see you again. In fact, they won't even find you. After they cleared all the debris, you were one of the 24 people that are missing and presumed dead among the 2,973 of 9/11.


2) You walk into the office. As it started, today was not a very good day. Last you had heard, there were an estimated 3,000 dead in the 9/11 attacks. Such a terrible event, you are gld that you are home. But there are more important things on your mind. Even with all this tragedy, you are still here, alive and kicking! It's been so long since you have seen the doctors, they ran a few tests the other week just to show that you were well. Nothing but routine. In fact, for such a dismall day, the office staff seemed to be quite friendly. Even, nice! First time its happened to you! Everyone has their days right?
Dorothy opens the door and calls your name. She had a look in her eye, like she was there for you...to help you if you needed any getting on the scale. now that you think of it, she might be having a good day to. You have a quick chat about how things are and she listens. Boy does she listen. It's such a great feeling to have someone listen to you once in a while. You make a mental note to invite her to your daughter's wedding. This doctor's visit is turning out to be better than you thought. She takes you to the office and instead of having to wait, your doctor is already there. Wow, now thats service. He breathes in deep, then out slow, as if some invisible other doctor had a stethascope on his back listening for any abnormalities. You get into the office and sit down. You tell your doctor how appreciative you are for everything that he has done and that he too is invited to your daughters wedding. Though, you have to stop there because your wife will kill you if invite anyone else. "I'm sorry, there is no easy way to say this. The cancer has spread to your brain and is untreatable."

You won't live to see your daughter get married.

3) Finally, you have to make a choice. Imagine the people you love. Each one lined up in a big long line balancing on puppy dogs and rainbows. Now, put them in a dank cellar with little light and a disgusting smell. much Better. If you had to choose one to torture ruthlessly, who would it be?

All of these are terrible. If you are like me, they make you want to sit down and cry helplessly. They make you feel powerless to do anything, they make you feel emotional pain, they make you suffer.
Now I want you to think about the next couple statements I am about to say. If you are like me, by this point, sad is an understatement. I'm only going to say a few things and I want you to read them one by one, take 30 seconds after each one and try and put yourself in that situation. use what you already know about those things and put yourself in these places:

-thousands of people killed themselves instead of being processed, shaved, striped, worked to death and ovened in the Holocaust

- A doctor who worked through hurricane Katrina said, "I injected morphine into those patients who were dying and in agony. If the first dose was not enough, I gave a double dose. And at night I prayed to God to have mercy on my soul."
"According to statements given to an investigator in the attorney general's office, LifeCare's pharmacy director, the director of physical medicine and an assistant administrator say they were told that the 'evacuation plan' for the seventh floor was to not leave any living patients behind, and that 'a lethal dose would be administered', according to their statements in court documents."

- At one point in time, other human beings were owned as property, bought and sold like sacks of fertilizer, only worth more because they could clear, plant and reap fields, instead of just make them grow better.

These things are worse, so much worse than the stories I gave. but these are even harder to imagine. These are too much more, too distant, too foreign; even some of mine were unfathomable. We don't know what it is like to be in a burning building with no hope of escape, we don't know what it is like to be a doctor, who has given a vow to help patients, after not sleeping for three days, working in a hospital in 100 degree weather without water or supplies. We don't know what it is like to be owned by another person, with no chance or release, no chance of freedom, no chance of escape. Instead, you work 16 hours a day until your body breaks, and then you work until you are told you can stop.

We do not know what it is like. They are bad, they are awful, unfathomable, they are off the radar completely. We don't even have the emotion references to be able to place those kinds of experiences.
When I think of these events, slavery, genocide, death; after the sadness and the grief and the angry, all I have left is love. All I want to do is embrace someone and go on from there, because if we don't keep going....well, then, we flatline.

Special thanks to Wikipedia, and various online news sources for quotes.

I'm sorry that that was so unhappy, so I have found a few things to bring a smile to your face

Edit: Here's some hope for the lost

HAPPY NEW YEAR