The Future's Got me Worried such Awful Thoughts

Noboy knows what the future holds (except H.G. Wells mind you)., but it is something that occupies our minds much of the time. Full of what ifs and full of hope. Full of questions and possibilities and potentialities. We always do it, and everything that we think, every possibility that we create in our minds is false, except that one little one that acctually happens. It is pointless, but so is alot of the things we do.

None the less it happens and I'm not gonna stop it. infact, im going to do it. . . sort of. Becuase soon, I will be going where my life is made. The forgery in which the basis of my life is crafted. everything I have gone through has beought me where I am. And I have many personalities, as evryone does, but can obviously only use one at a time. this is my worry. That my senior silence will follow me next year.

Senior silence is my little quieting disorder. I feel like I talk less. I feel like I analyze more and talk less. I give only a very few attampts at conversation and let others do the rest. I feel like I alienate myself. Everyone else is out there thwoing their moeny away when I have to go to college and eat at the same time. I feel like I have compared myself too much.

Well.. now I really justf feel tired. Because I get all sad when I am tired, I dont like getting tired it isn't fun. I neeed to sleep.

Night


"Nothin gets Crossed Out"
Bright Eyes
The future has got me worried, such awful thoughts.
My head is a carousel of pictures.
The spinning never stops.
I just want someone to walk in front
and I'll follow the leader.
Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush.
Started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs. I almost forgot who I was,
but came to my senses.
Now I'm tryin' to be assertive.
I'm making plans.
Wanna rise to the occasion, yeah
meet all of their demands.
But all I do is just lay in bed
and hide under the covers.
I know I should be brave
but I'm just too afraid of all this change.
And it's too hard to focus through all this doubt.
I keep making these "To Do" lists but nothing gets crossed out.
Working on the record seems pointless now.
When the world ends, who's gonna hear it?
But Im tryin' and take some comfort in written words,
yeah Tim I heard your album and it's better than good.
When you get off tour I think we should hang and black out together.
Because I've been feeling sentimental for days gone by...
all those summers singing, drinking, laughing, wasting out time.
Remember all those songs and the way we smiled
in those basements made of music.
But now I've got to crawl, to get anywhere at all. I'm not as strong as I thought.
So when I'm lost in a crowd,
I hope that you'll pick me out.
Oh, how I long to be found.
The grass grew high. I laid down.
Now I wait for a hand to lift me up, help me stand.
I have been laying so low
Don't want to lay here no more.
Don't want to lay here no more.
Don't want to lay here no more.
Don't want to lay here no more.
But if everything that happens is supposed to be
and it is predetermined, can't change your destiny.
Then I guess I'll just keep moving, someday, maybe, I'll get to where I'm going.