This has the potential to be very long and on several subjects. I will separate and label each subject as I see fit.


Government
It is an extremely scary thought to think of our government as from the video below. (My eye is twitching...it is very strange) Seriously though, it is obvious that it has the power. They can do whatever the hell they please and blame it on Uzbekistan for all anybody cares. How would we know? They seem to think they have an unlimited amount of money which they spend accordingly. even though they actually don’t. They can spend billions of dollars on covering up that sort of thing. They make it so convincing because they can. People believe them. We have strayed so far from our Deist forefathers vision.

Religion
I bring up Deism because I know someone would bring up Christianity at some point. (I would say something about Bush being waaaay to into God and bringing that into our politics and I would say it strayed from the founders of the US and they would say that they were Christian and I will say that they were Deist and that you are stupid and that you are talking about things that you have no idea about. I would then encourage them to continue reading and perhaps learn something on the way. In the words of Voltaire, "Let each of us boldly and honestly say: How little it is that I really know!"...that was mean wasn't it?) So Let me help you understand about Deism:
Firstly Here is the definition of Deism According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

Deism
Pronunciation: 'dE-"i-z&m, 'dA-
Function: noun
Usage: often capitalized
: a movement or system of thought advocating natural religion, emphasizing morality, and in the 18th century denying the interference of the Creator with the laws of the universe

So in other words, Deism, in the classical belief, is a belief of a God that created the earth and no longer intervenes with its affairs through miracles or the like. There are several beliefs that branch out here. Some believe that he does not intervene because the best of worlds has already been made, therefore no intervening is necessary. Others believe that it is because he created Earth and no longer exists as a separate entity (God is one with the earth). Either way, God created the Earth and no longer does anything to it or its inhabitants. This is also called the clockmaker hypothesis.

Deists believe that God created the Earth and created Man with reason and logic. Man is empowered with reasonable thinking and strives to learn more about the world by obtaining knowledge through various fields of science.

Key founding fathers including Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin were both believers in Deism. (Please also note that the following presidents were Desit or had Deist affiliations/beliefs: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, John Tyler, and Abraham Lincoln. )Their beliefs appear in several documents including the Declaration of Independence. I believe that the terms used in this document are some of the most misinterpreted terms ever. The following terms are all words that Deists use to describe their God:

Creator
Divine Author
Divine Providence
Divine Watchmaker
Divine Essence
First Cause
Grand Architect of the Universe
Nature's God
Providence
The One that is All
The Eternal One
The Living Law (Essene)
The Living Director Principle in All Being
The Governing Being of the Universe
Supreme Being
Supreme Intelligence

*The ones that are bolded indicated their usage in the Declaration of Independence

Therefore, nobody can say that the founding fathers were Christian and that God should be in the government.

***God refers to the Deist and Judo-Christian deity, Man refers to all human beings***

Government
So we are led to believe that our government knows what they are doing. We trust them because they are knowledgeable. Well they must be! we think They have gone to a lot of school to do this! So we lull ourselves into believing that they do what is best for us. AHA! that is where we are wrong. There is a distinct difference between knowing a lot about the government and us, and doing what is best for us. But, because we are waaaaay to trusting of people who know more than we do in certain areas, we blindly say, "Ok do what you want with us! You know best."

This country seems like a bad case of parental abuse. The people in the nation are the child and the government is the parent. We trusted the parent to do what is best for us and they abuse us, therefore losing our trust. Unfortunately, because this is a dysfunctional family, we continue to go back to them because that is all we know. We keep going back and keep getting burned. There is nothing we can do

Oh wait...YES there is! ITS CALLED VOTING! We claim we have a democratic system, (I’m not even going to acknowledge the electoral college because I think it is silly). and we do, but it is defective. It is a democratic system that was born without legs. Everyone can vote, but only 61% of the population does. OOH! 61 percent that’s a lot of people you may think. Yeah it is. But think of how many people in the United States did not vote. Take a guess, right now, how many?
88,720,240 !!!!!!!!! Let me write that in words so you can see it better EIGHTY EGHIT MILLION SEVEN HUNDRED TWENTY THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED FORTY PEOPLE

88.7 million people did not vote. Let’s make some comparisons here.
88.7 million people is...

The number of people who saw the best Super bowl ads
5 million more people than the population of Germany
1.5 World War II casualties (total of everyone!)
36 Years worth of Deaths in the US†
355 I have a dream speeches
825 Sold Out Michigan Stadiums
29,712 September 11, 2001 attacks ?
50,697 Saline High Schools

...and just for fun, If everybody stood shoulder to shoulder, they could rap around the earth one and a third times.

† based on 2005 U.S. Mortality rate as found on the CIA World Fact book
? (isn't it funny how I mention that?)

Hopefully that will encourage you to vote if you can. If you comment at all on current government affairs and don't, vote you are the most (please prepare yourself for a very alliterate use of the thesaurus) abhorrent, abominable, caitiff, corrupt, crooked, despicable, detestable, dirty, disgraceful, dishonorable, egregious, fetid, filthy, fraudulent, heinous, horrid, impure, inequitable, infamous, iniquitous, loathsome, malodorous, monstrous, nasty, nauseating, nefarious, noisome, notorious, offensive, putrid, rank, raunchy, repulsive, revolting, rotten, shady, shameful, squalid, stinking, sullied, tainted, unclean, underhanded, unfair, unjust, unscrupulous, vicious, vile, and wicked hypocrite that has ever come into existence. Period. No excuses.

Voting for our leaders does not fix problems; it eventually either makes problems or prevents them.

Now I know that someone will be an ass and say, "This is a free country, I don't have to vote if I don't want to." I agree. I can't not agree. Naive and Ignorant as it is, it is true. I whole heartedly believe in Liberalism (specifically, a kind of non-extremist libertarianism) (see below) therefore you are at liberty to do what you want as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. Obviously, not voting does not infringe on anybodies rights. The only thing that happens by not voting is that I lose respect for you and you make our country a worse place. Sorry, did I say that out loud? So go ahead and don't vote asshole, but if anything happens in this government that you don't like you have no right to say anything. In fact I will personally hogtie you and tape your mouth shut if you do. With that said...

Revolution
"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

How true.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Luckily, I don't think things are desperate yet.
I do believe that things could get out of control and we can't let that happen. Pretend with me here, just for an instant, that the government was trying to gain more control over us by fear and increased military power. What can we do. As a means of gun power, we still have the right to have guns (i suppose it is a good thing....?). Now the military has much more power, but we at least have a start. (I love the quote from V for Vendetta: "What usually happens when people without guns go up against people with guns?") Just for an instant we have no control. Just for an instant we are all being monitored. Just for an instant they have all the control and we have none.

Just for an instant, we need to get it back. Just for an instant we need to stand in front of a tank, we need to nonviolently protest the government, we need to sit in the front of the bus, we need to boycott what we don’t believe in. We have the numbers, they have the guns. They won't kill the entire country because there would be nobody left. So please, if you believe in something, stand up for it. A belief is something that you would do, it is not a thought. Because if you don't, who will?

Political Views

A year ago, I did not have as firm of a stance in what I believe. Until some things happened and now I will fight for everything I believe in. I used to be moderate, until I learned that what I believed was not moderate. I suppose that I looked at the Liberal and Conservative (United States Politics) extremists and thought I am not either of those, so I am moderate. As I progressed through life, however, I realized that, through a little research of ideology I realized that everything that I saw in the media, heard in the halls or on the street was of extremists because nobody wants to talk or hear about boring stuff. At least boring in their eyes. They want excitement!! They want crazy politicians ripping each other heads off! They want Rush Limbaugh. (Just kidding nobody likes him). And so I found that my views do fit in a category, more or less. Plus I can modify the name of the category as much as I see fit to hold true to my views!

^.^ More to come!! (maybe)

Is the Government really on our Side?

...and you thought we were safe!

"I believe that Ghandi's views were the most englightened of our time. We should strive to do things in his spirit - not to use violence in fighting for our cause, but by non participation in anything you believe is evil."

Albert Einstein

Viva La Vie Boheme



Live the Bohemian Life

Cognitive Dissonance, mental inbalance, conflicting thoughts
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. The books, people, movies, art, music, and photgraphy, all can inspire a change of mind. A change of belief, attitude and way of life. Those are the best. The things that make you think about your life to take a step back and realize that everything that is so important to you now will not matter in a year. That you are still young and that there is still time. Carpe Diem! Grab the sweaty toothed madman and run into a field of daises, a field of individuals that view them selvs as unimportant. Take him and your blanket and run. Move on from the death of your wife, maybe it just takes time sitting in a chiar, an hour a week before you realize, "It isn't your fault"

These things are what bring us together, bring the starnagers in the halls, the aquaintences to strong friendship. All of you, those that I know but dont know, call me find me and allow me to invite you to my house where we may talk and understand the world. Those I do know, you are invited to come as well, it'll be a date.


(pop quiz, what movies did I make references to in the first paragraph)

Oh but I wish to be Purple

Equality is Both Impossible and Impractical...

Well, Impractical first:
If everyone were equal, if everyone looked, acted, smelled, tasted, worked, lived, loved, cried, ate, jumped, ran, swamwell; was good at all subjects in school, succesful in all aspects of life; and was identical in all aspects LIFE WOULD SUCK.
Nobody would exel at anything. Nobody would ever win or lose. All sports would end in ties and all classes would be equally boring or amazing.
With everything would be equally amazing! mediocre, or sucky.
Either everybody finds the cure for cancer! we are all equally almost there, or we all die from it.

and impossible because we would all be the same age, or body shape, or all equally good at hunting or something. There wouldn't be any caribou left. In anycase, we would all be so equal at what we did, when eventually there wasn't enough the universe would collapse and we would ll be pulled apart like a big pig roast.


Well then it was fitting for you to take care how you should be like the rest of men, just as the thread has no design to be anything superior to the other threads. But I wish to be purple, that small part which is bright, and makes all the rest appear graceful and beautiful. Why then do you tell me to make myself like the many? and if I do, how shall I still be purple?
-Discourses by Epictetus

The Future's Got me Worried such Awful Thoughts

Noboy knows what the future holds (except H.G. Wells mind you)., but it is something that occupies our minds much of the time. Full of what ifs and full of hope. Full of questions and possibilities and potentialities. We always do it, and everything that we think, every possibility that we create in our minds is false, except that one little one that acctually happens. It is pointless, but so is alot of the things we do.

None the less it happens and I'm not gonna stop it. infact, im going to do it. . . sort of. Becuase soon, I will be going where my life is made. The forgery in which the basis of my life is crafted. everything I have gone through has beought me where I am. And I have many personalities, as evryone does, but can obviously only use one at a time. this is my worry. That my senior silence will follow me next year.

Senior silence is my little quieting disorder. I feel like I talk less. I feel like I analyze more and talk less. I give only a very few attampts at conversation and let others do the rest. I feel like I alienate myself. Everyone else is out there thwoing their moeny away when I have to go to college and eat at the same time. I feel like I have compared myself too much.

Well.. now I really justf feel tired. Because I get all sad when I am tired, I dont like getting tired it isn't fun. I neeed to sleep.

Night


"Nothin gets Crossed Out"
Bright Eyes
The future has got me worried, such awful thoughts.
My head is a carousel of pictures.
The spinning never stops.
I just want someone to walk in front
and I'll follow the leader.
Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush.
Started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs. I almost forgot who I was,
but came to my senses.
Now I'm tryin' to be assertive.
I'm making plans.
Wanna rise to the occasion, yeah
meet all of their demands.
But all I do is just lay in bed
and hide under the covers.
I know I should be brave
but I'm just too afraid of all this change.
And it's too hard to focus through all this doubt.
I keep making these "To Do" lists but nothing gets crossed out.
Working on the record seems pointless now.
When the world ends, who's gonna hear it?
But Im tryin' and take some comfort in written words,
yeah Tim I heard your album and it's better than good.
When you get off tour I think we should hang and black out together.
Because I've been feeling sentimental for days gone by...
all those summers singing, drinking, laughing, wasting out time.
Remember all those songs and the way we smiled
in those basements made of music.
But now I've got to crawl, to get anywhere at all. I'm not as strong as I thought.
So when I'm lost in a crowd,
I hope that you'll pick me out.
Oh, how I long to be found.
The grass grew high. I laid down.
Now I wait for a hand to lift me up, help me stand.
I have been laying so low
Don't want to lay here no more.
Don't want to lay here no more.
Don't want to lay here no more.
Don't want to lay here no more.
But if everything that happens is supposed to be
and it is predetermined, can't change your destiny.
Then I guess I'll just keep moving, someday, maybe, I'll get to where I'm going.

... and at the end of the night, dawns a new mourning

The've done it!
It's done

They have created an equation to find the worst day of the year.
What psychologist really has such depressing patients that he would want to find that one day that ist just shit?

This guy

The model is: [W + (D-d)] x TQ
M x NA

The equation is broken down into seven variables: (W) weather, (D) debt, (d) monthly salary, (T) time since Christmas, (Q) time since failed quit attempt, (M) low motivational levels and (NA) the need to take action.

The other day when I was walking into blockbuster, someone asked my why she never saw me on the stage. and that got me thinking again as to why we do what we do.

When we are young, infants, we do what we do because we do. We drink milk because we do. We eat what is fed to us because we do. and we grow because we do. It is animal instinct to live and the only thing that can change that is thousands of years of evolution in one direction or another. We do what we do to live.

In early childhood, we learn. We have survived so far, but it looks like we will have to adapt if we are to continue. We learn to do everything. We learn to communicate, we learn to effectively transport our selves, we learn to interact with others, we are sponges that absorb more than even the strongest quicker picker upper. We also learn fun. Fun is what our life becomes obsessed with as we journey farther into life. We love fun in all of its shapes and sizes. We love fun no matter the color or creed. We love fun even without regard to species. life is fun is life.

Later in childhood, what I like to refer to as the 'when I was young' ages, we learn falsehoods. We learn to lie, cheat, scam, and worst of all, we learn emotions. Learn isn't the right words, I just used it for repetition. Seriously, we learn to dilute and complicate our emotions. The barest of feelings we code in cliche words and macaroni hearts and the cute little drawings we hang on the fridge. We code them and give them to others to decipher hoping that they will somehow feel what you felt while you meticulously glue those glitter covered macaroni around your favorite family picture. why? because we want trust. We want the secure knowledge that everyone you know will be here tomorrow, just as they are today, and that you and you and you and I can go play with him and her and him and their dogs. and we play and dream. We dream of our future and of fun we can have when we grow up. Of walking on the moon and of discovering dinosaurs and of saving people from burning buildings. We dream of the world as it should be from our eyes. And never NEVER! do these dreams ever leave us, no matter how hard you try at any stage in your life can you rid yourself of the pure, angelic, untainted hope that gleam in your eyes. we dream of a good life. because life is good. Life is free, lovely, fun.

Then something happens. Whitecoats call it 'maturation'. The body grows and as a result so does our intelligence and wisdom. but that is not what we are worried about. No. we are on stage. We have hit Broadway and we are the stars of the show. ((unless that bitch who thinks she is all that comes over and steals my part that I have worked so hard to make, practicing since I was young risking everything on that audition and just because she knows the 'casting director'. I can't believe she wouldn't let me into that show.)) The show that everybody watches, not at home on their televisors but in life. The show, the drama, the production that life has become. No longer is fun what I care about because fun doesn't make me fit in. Fun doesn't make me skinny or smart or popular...because that's what everyone else wants. we act to fit in. we live to act. because we want trust. We want the secure knowledge that everyone you know will be here tomorrow, just as they are today, and that you and you and you and I can go play with him and her and him...but not her, she isn't good enough for the part. We want acceptance. We want it need it crave it. Like a drug, we take it when we can get it, spending the money our parents give us, thinking we are going to the movies hahaha, we are really spending it, investing it in friendships. Some last for the rest of our lives, some for less time than it takes to say "you little bitch" to the back of a head that is storming out of the theater. we don't even know why we do it, it isn't doesn't even make sense. we don't trust it because we can't see it, but it is in us. The instinct, our bodies know that the people that surround us are going to surround us for the rest of our lives. They are always going to be the same age, or three years younger, or five years older. Not even orbiting the planet will make you younger because you will never get there. Being an astronaut is the dream of a child. A dream that you can clearly remember, the pure, angelic, naked hope that one day you will make it and be great. and it is that dream, that hope, which now is covered under the makeup from the play, that keeps those of us from slitting our wrists and doing the drugs that only bury that hope further in the dirt. But it is still there. the gleam of something more than this act. because this act isn't our life, it is everybody else guessing what everybody else wants them to be. groupthink I think the white coats call it. and we are almost out. the act is almost over, and we have made it through because of that hope. we live to hope, and the others hope to live because what they did to themselves was too much.

finally, we are out. Still stuck in high school, but we now live to be free. we have made it, with more than our share of scars and stories. and we help who we can, because we know what it was like. But now things are different. now we look back on all that we have accomplished, and lost. we look back to our lives of acceptance and groupthink. We look back to the days of dreams and learning, and we look back to the days of life. the days that we lived to live. nothing to complicate it. nobody telling you their opinion while you furiously scribble notes into the notebook you bought with the money from your job at the movies. because we see it now, we see the life we have. We think we understand, but nobody knows everything. and we read stories about big bears of men who have found bliss. True bliss in the form of play, not even with humans but with bears and with dogs and with monkeys. People who live to live. who live to play, who work so that they can live. and we also see the other person who has built the empire of technology. who stands at the top watching over their floor of directors that looks down to their floors and so on. and they all work. to get money, to invest it in their things, hopefully their kids, and try to make a living. the live to work. and we look at those roads, and all the others in between living to work and working to live, because that is what we have been shown. and it is our decision now, to choose our path, or better yet make a new one. and forge ahead into the world...to be remembered.

and then, our train of thought comes to a screeching halt. because there was a noise. a voice actually, but one you haven't heard before. ...his first word, her first favorite word. The years have just flown by. and they are playing outside, having fun. they are five, full of radiant hope, just as you were. and they both love their first word and say it all the time.

why

"Why?" they ask you. why do we want to be remembered? because we want people to know that we have made a difference in this world. why? because we want to know that someone cared about what we did. why? because it is like when you made that macaroni picture and your mom put it on the fridge, because we want trust. We want the secure knowledge that everyone you know will be here tomorrow, just as they are today, and that him and him and her and her can work to make the world a better place for you and you and her. why? because our life wasn't perfect, and we don't want you to have to go through what we did. why? because we care about you, we want you to know that we will be here tomorrow just as we are today, and that our lives are for you. We live for you. and you live for the future. we live in you and you live because of us. why? because, as the writers at disney managed to phrase very well, it is the circle of life. and I honestly believe that in the end, we live for each other, for one reason or another. Whether it is instinct to pass our genes on, or because we just like having sex, or because we are all one being trying to survive in the world, or because a higher power said it would be a good idea. we live to give to the future, and hope it did some good.

what do you do when you can't reach what you want
when it is just out of bounds but you keep on trying
staring too long at the prize to miss the cliff


--oops, wrote that a while ago and never posted it. haha

La Lune Trop Pale

It is a lonly feeling not having anywhere to go on New Year's Eve. I mean, we have had a party here for the past few years and I have been able to have some people over. But now it comes to my senior year. and really Iguess it shouldn't matter very much, I mean it is just like any other night isn't it. With a shit load of fireworks and a bunch of drunk people stumbling around making resolutions they won't fill. But somehow it matters. Somehow this night, I want to be with people I care about, people I love, people I am going to live my life with around me. Somehow, I am not able to do that. There are so many people that I want to spend time with this year because I am not going to see them anymore at UofM. I am suprised how few people are going to UofM. I'm sure I'll make friends, but nobody can replace some of the amazing friends I have now.
I guess I will just count last night as my New Year's Eve. I had my people over last night, but it's not the same. Don't get me wrong last night is one of the best times I have had in a while sharing laughs with some great guys, but certain people make or break a night and tonight just won't be made I guess. No amount of fireworks is going to lighten up my mood I suppose. Writing about it probably doesn't help either.
Just the fact that I wasn't invited anywhere, and everyone that I call to try and come and watch a movie or two with me and like one other person is in the most unlikely of places, or having a murder mystery party.
You win some you lose some I suppose. I just didn't think I would lose tonight.

Happy Fucking New Year







caresse l'opale de tes yeux blases

And you called it news


I came upon an article written for CNN titled "Report: TV ads strongly influence kids' diet" on December 6, 2005. Among other things, this article stated the kind of influence that TV and movie characters such as 'Spongebob Squarepants' and 'Shrek' have on te nutrition decisions of children under 12. This report didn't come as a suprise to me, it seems to be all that is on TV these days, ofcourse besides despondant habitat bound matrons. Although this report was intriguing, it had not fufilled my hunger for child fattening TV related associations, if you don't mind my insinuation.
After a little searching, I stumbled upon another article, this time from the Times paper in the UK titled: CHILDREN’S JUNK FOOD ADVERTS FACE TV BAN" .I am going to let this portion of the article speak for itself.

Professor Gerard Hastings, of Strathclyde University’s centre for social marketing, found that children’s television advertising was dominated by promotions for sugary breakfast cereals, soft drinks, sweets, savoury snacks and fast food outlets. Other influences on children’s eating were product sponsorship, free food, gifts or tokens, packaging, and promotions linked to films, television programmes and computer games.

He found that many young children, especially those aged under eight, were confused by the powerful advertising messages. Children were unable, for instance, to tell if soft drinks and cereals contained real fruit. There was also evidence that Saturday morning television advertisements had a direct impact on what children wanted to buy when they went shopping with a parent. Professor Hastings acknowleged that so-called pester power was an important factor in the marketing concepts behind the advertisements.

Objection your Honor:
"You can't preface your second point with 'firstly"

I get upset when people talk about how they judge other people. I can't stand it when people say "stop judging me". I can't stand it when people say that they are not judgemental.
Just Stop Talking

Of course you are judgemental. Think of the root of this word Judge. To judge, as is defined by the fourth edition of the American Heritage dictionary, is to form an opinion or evaluation. So yes you are judgemental. Otherwise you have no opinion. and I honestly think that everyone has some mental process of thought.
The other thing that bugs me about ourselves is that when we learn something new, we try and fit it into what we already know. For example, meeting a new person. You first try and fit the person into a category or relate them to other people you know and even to yourself. After time however, you begin to from a new category for this person. I just dislike the process. I think it is a little .... judgemental...not really.

Operation Frosty

Phase 1: Lower-Base
Phase 2: Mid-Base
Phase 3: Top-Base
Phase 4: accessorize


Friday December 09, 2005
OPERATION FROSTY
Status: Stage 1 complete

Knowledge is.....

Isn't it amazing how we are the best people who know ourselves. Nobody can know us better. And such is that you can not know someone else better than yourself. So when you think of another person, they give you only a fraction of themselves and you just go ahead and fill in the spaces. It's a real shame that we can't just completely know another person...but that really isn't our fault is it.

So each time you meet someone, you take a first impression of them. I am using X as an example.
I meet X in, say a cafe. I automatically assume that X likes this place and consumes beverages or food at such place. I also make an assumption about their wardrobe based on what they are wearing. Next, I begin to talk a little and learn what X likes and does with its time.
About this time, I notice strange things they do, like never look right at me for a very long time. Hmm that's strange, I think. "Sorry, but I need to get going," I say, "it was nice meeting you. Let's do this again sometime." Of course I don't leave a number or contact information. X knows my name. If they really want they can find me, I know I will find them.

I'm so hopeless.

Believe it or Not

Everyone believes in something. There is never a time in your life that you are without a belief. In fact, people just can't wait to tell other people what it is that they believe. "I believe in telling other people what I believe." You see, humans are talkative, and we need other people to know that we aren't all just bar stools waiting to be sat upon. So we believe. Honestly, I don't see any other reason for us to take a position on any topic except to prove that I am different than you are. You say that I look good in green, I say that I look good in red. You say that our war on terror is going well, I say that I would rather see the soldiers home and in good health.

Look at it this way, if we all agreed on the same things, the universe would cease to exist. Simple as that. See, it all starts by all of us agreeing that we agree on everything. Which is then followed by "hot" topics like homosexuality and abortion laws, which are of course ruled, in favor of everyone, unanimously. Talks then proceed to other countries. The world ends up deciding on the best way to run itself and lives in harmony with amazingly expanded fields in science and philosophy. Then some morning, every philosopher agrees that since they can't prove that they are any different from each other, they are all the same person. We will call herm (him + her = herm), being every human in existence of course, Dana (because it is used on both sexes). So Dana also begins to think about the universe, and how it compares to herm and herms world. Dana realizes that since shhe (she +he = shhe) agrees that the universe is both expanding and contracting, it is standing still. Unfortunately, that calls for a new theory on universe creation. This is easily done considering Dana's mass efficiency in doing...Anything. So it is stated that A long time ago, many small people called 'hyumens' came together and agreed to set aside their differences and work towards common goals. Dana is the result. In the end, Dana agrees on all matters concerning anything from bananas to lipstick, to stars, to high heels. Unfortunately, Dana is unable to prove that shhe is an animate object because there is nether to tell herm so. So, Dana turns into a barstool and there shhe sits....Waiting....for a butt.

Well, I believe many things.
I believe that self-perception is mostly influenced by other people
I believe that women think too much
and I believe that people are naturally blind and close-minded

but then again, I also didn't believe that I would spend 26.5 minutes writing a completely pointless story when I need the sleep....so just think of the possibilities!

i r teh roxor of teh images ^

Holidays here always seem to have a hint of depression among the celebration

Excuse Me

We live in a world of excuses. "the trafific was bad, my mom made me _______, My car wouldn't start." We arrive at a place knowing that no matter what we say or do, we are still running 14 minutes behind. No words are going to make up for the time we have missed. That time is gone. Never to be seen again. The only thing you are doing with an excuse is taking up more time when you are already at a loss of time.
As people, we talk too much anyway. we always know something is happening, but we are always managed to be talked out of it. We hear too much and listen too little. plus we will say anything to get out of something we don't want to do. Im too tired, im too confused, im too dumb. ironically, all of those staements infer that you are overoccupied with one thing to do another. "too" much, "too" little , "too" big, "too" small. we never get it just right. it is never enough.
Just let it go.

Finish the though yourself , i don't want to type anymore......
I am too tired
; )

Hail

You Know Sometimes You Just Want to Buy a Tea Towel

Trust. It is something that is earned. Earning trust has been a lifelong mystery for some people and not remotly achievable for others. What has always bugged me is how trust is formed. Because trust isn't really formed. Trust is the confinidence in another person that they will do what you want them to when you want them to. Or well, I guess it is less what you want them to and more of them not doing what you dont want them to do. Either way, trust is nothing of substance. It is comepletely made up in the mind and it is one of the first things that is created in an infant's head. Trust is something both wonderfull when fufilled and terrible when betrayed. It can hurt more than torture and feel better than sex. Tust is a drug.

Trust is forged through adversity. When any form of risk is involved in a situation, it creates a crucible that forges the recations and responses of others to the situation at hand, and turns it into either trust or mistrust.

Choice

We all have the choices. When it comes down to it, we choose everything that is important. The only thing that is important is what we decide for ourselves. No matter what anyone else thinks of us, we are still who we are if we decide to be.

"They can not take away our self respect if we do not give it to them." -Mahatma Ghandi

“Funny You Should Ask”

April 12, 1999

Rick Reilly

Sports Illustrated

So we were lying on our backs on the grass in the park next to our hamburger wrappers, my 14-year-old son and I, watching the clouds loiter overhead, when he asked me, “Dad, why are we here?”

And this is what I said.

“I’ve thought a lot about it, son, and I don’t think it’s all that complicated. I think maybe we’re here just to teach a kid how to bunt, turn two and eat sunflower seeds without using his hands.

“We’re here to pound the steering wheel and scream as we listen to the game on the radio, 20 minutes after we pulled into the garage. We’re here to look all over, give up and then find the ball in the hole.

“We’re here to watch, at least once, as the pocket collapses around John Elway, and it’s fourth-and-never. Or as the count goes to 3 and 1 on Mark McGwire with bases loaded, and the pitcher begins wishing he’d gone on to med school. Or as a little hole you couldn’t get a skateboard through suddenly opens in front of Jeff Gordon with a lap to go.

“We’re here to wear our favorite sweat-soaked Boston Red Sox cap, torn Slippery Rock sweatshirt and the Converses we lettered in, on a Saturday morning with nowhere we have to go and no one special we have to be.

“We’re here to rake on a jack-high nothin’ hand and have nobody know it but us. Or get in at least one really good brawl, get a nice shiner and end up throwing an arm around the guy who gave it to us.

“We’re here to shoot a six-point elk and finally get the f-stop right, or to tie the perfect fly, make the perfect cast, catch absolutely nothing and still call it a perfect morning.

“We’re here to nail a yield sign with an apple core from half a block away. We’re here to make our dog bit on the same lame fake throw for the gazillionth time. We’re here to win the stuffed bear or go broke trying.

“I don’t think the meaning of life is gnashing our bicuspids over what comes after death but tasting all the tiny moments that come before it. We’re here to be the coach when Wendell, the one whose glasses always fog up, finally makes the only perfect backdoor pass all season. We’re here to be there when our kid has three goals and an assist. And especially when he doesn’t.

“We’re here to see the Great One setting up behind the net, tying some poor goaltender’s neck into a Windsor knot. We’re here to watch the Rocket peer in for the sign, two outs, bases loaded, bottom of the career. We’re here to witness Tiger’s lining up a 22-foot double breaker to win and not need his autograph afterward to prove it.

“We’re here to be able to do a one-and-a-half for our grandkids. Or to stand at the top of our favorite double-black on a double-blue morning and overhear those five wonderful words: ‘Highway’s closed. Too much snow.’ We’re here to get the Frisbee to do things that would have caused medieval clergymen to burn us at the stake.

“We’re here to sprint the last 100 yards and soak our shirts and be so tired we have to sit down to pee.

“I don’t think we’re here to make SportsCenter. The really good stuff never does. Like leaving Wrigley at 4:15 on a perfect summer afternoon and walking straight into Murphy’s with half of section 503. Or finding ourselves with a free afternoon, a little red 327 fuel-injected 1962 Corvette convertible and an unopened map of Vermont’s backroads.

“We’re here to get the triple-Dagwood sandwich made, the perfectly frosted malted-beverage mug filled and the football kicked off at the very second your sister begins tying up the phone until Tuesday.

“None of us are going to find ourselves on our deathbeds saying, ‘Dang, I wish I’d spent more time on the Hibbings account’. We’re going to say, ‘That scar? I got that scar stealing a home run from Consolidated Plumbers!’

“See, grown-ups spend so much time doggedly slaving toward the better car, the perfect house, the big day that will finally make them happy when happy just walked by wearing a bicycle helmet two sizes too big for him. We’re not here to find a way to heaven. The way is heaven. Does that answer for question?”

And he said, “Not really, Dad.”

And I said, “No?”

And he said, “No, what I meant is, why are we here when Mom said to pick her up 40 minutes ago?”

and Life barrels on like a run away train

Is there such a paradox of Freudian concept that one can be overwhelmed by things to do, several things, and predominantly use escapeism (an ego defense mechanism) to get away from them, by escaping through the very things which cause the anxeity in the first place?

Quote for a while "Ready are you? What know you of ready? ... This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless." -Yoda

Is the new template working?

Most people produce when they feel like it, leaders produce even when they don't want to.

Building off of the 13th. High School is about academic courseds to prep for college. But! I think it serves a better purpose. Going though so many years of school while we mature into (sometimes not so mature) adults. There is so much we learn about ourselves in high school. I am just disapointed that more people don't take it seriously.
I am loving phsycologyI think the best skill to have is to be able to understand people. It can help so much in the future. People skills people skills people skilss. Yeah yeah yeah. MAybe I should write a song.
I better go, time for marching band

I am going to be chaing the template soon. It will be really akward for a while with false links and yuckyness.

So I woke up this morning and turn the TV on to find the new reality TV show that had to do with making a horror film. It dawned upon me today that one of the best places to see an unreserved human mind is on this show. The best part is you learn how to handle these crazy people. One of the directors really shows a lot of the things I have read and learned in different places about leadership and about getting things done. As weird as it sounds, I think this is one of the best reality shows yet because I get to see how to manage and work with these kinds of people. Plus, I get to see how to handle myself when I act like some of the really really strange people on that show. It is kind of funny to watch and yet, at the same time slightly enlightening.

Its kind of funny when people apologize (because everyone does it) for not posting on their online journal. Who are they apologizing to? for what cause? Is somebody really that upset that they aren't posting? If they are that intereseted in their lives, why dont they acctually talk to them? Humans just work like that I guess, they don't want to do things for themselves, they start a journal because someone else wants them too, and writes a little and then doesn't for a bit. Then its sorry I haven't been writing, an apology to their imaginary public. They don't want to write because they want to. They are writing because somebody else wants them too.
I can't critisize too much though because im asking people to write stories with me.
haha oh well

I have realized that the only reason I take academic courses in high school is so that I will be accepted into a good university. High school is just a place to go and learn elementray principles. College begins the journey into the work force and into life. Until then, we are sheltered little giraffes pretending to do important things.

The problem is that to grow, to take the journeys on which our growth is predicted, we must confront our own immaturity, self-ishness, and lack of courage. In a sense, our life is about a forceful, often overpowering need to take journeys, yet our tendency is to grip the swings ever more tightly. The decisions we make about our journeys determine how our self is aligned with our surrounding environment.

Excerpt from Deep Change by Robert E. Quinn

The more and more I read, the more and more amazed I become when groups and organizations are able to come together and work as teams on their own. The conditions and the people are just right where amazing things happen. There is a job, a paying job that a person can have, to go in and fix companies and groups that are slowly deteriorating or just to get groups started right. Yet we do it everyday without help and we don't even know it. So wherever you go, in school or in the work place or at home, no matter how little or often it happens, cherish those moments because you did something amazing.

People from other countries always tend to humble and embarrass me. I agree that people shouldn't treat the person special. But it would be so hard to me if I was in say, Spain and spoke little Spanish. I just think it is so wired. I need to do that some time. Being in a completely foreign place and not speaking a lot of the language.

You're a Trumpet. Biggest balls in the band.


What is your inner musical instrument?
brought to you by Quizilla

That zombie movie got me thinking. How would the world respond to such an attack? Would we really hole up and be overtaken by greed? Shouldn't we be more worried about survival? Aren't humans such funny creatures. I mean, we can hardly deal with members of our species that are slightly different than us. When other animals can take in other species.
So, the main problem is our ability to reason. Such that we can convince ourselves that we are right. We convince ourselves that we need certain things and that we can not live without certain things. When in reality it is only comfort we desire. But why do we even want that. We didn't need comfort in the ice age. We needed food. Well, food is readily provided now. So what do we need? Hmm, water too obviously, duh...got it. So, to live what else do we need? Physically, I think we need nothing. Psychologically, however, we need alot more.
First off, we need other people. I was introduced to the concept of selfobjectivism a couple weeks ago. The idea that a person needs other people to view them so they know that they exist. For, when they look at an inanimate object, it doesn't look back. It doesn't talk oor judge you. When you look at another person however, and interact, you know that you exist. So simply put, without other people, many people would cease to exist in their own mids. I'm not sure what happens to them then.
Next, I think that people need to feel like they are living for something. Anything. Because in this day of reason. we don't live to hunt or live for the next day, we need to make a reason to live. Some people don't have reasons, they just live.
This reminds me of a funny conversation I had with my Dad. We were talking about what if a person couldn't read. A person might say, "How can they live with that?" I don't know, but they do. They wake up in the morning, hopefully eat at some point, do something in the day, and go to bed at night, only to wake up the next morning.
Wierd thought. Are we the only creature on the planet that can convince ourselves that we don't have a reason to live. Yes. Becuase no other animal needs a reason to live. They live to live. I wish that humans could live to live. Unfortunatly, everything leads to more questions. what does live to live mean. I just think it means, live for what you need. and the only way we can do that in this world is to trabajamos a vivir. Work to live. Otherwise, we are just making reasons for us to live. Acctualy, I think that was a factor in the starting of religion. Besides explaining the unexplainable. Anciet Japan (I think it was) is my favorite. How somebelieved the island was on the back of a turtle or a catfish or something. And when it got angry, it shook making earthquakes. But I think that some people just need reasons to live.
I have what I need. I don't need to worry about that at this point in my life. So what is my part? I think my part should be to make things better. Leave everything better than I found it. For the future depends on the actions of the present. It is my choice and responsibilty to either change the world now, or help the peopole of today and future people of tomorrow help to make the world better.
One idea that i have been working on was like a high school small business internship program. Isn't that the most risky investmentof all. Other people. I mean, dollar values go up and down, but everyday we invest in people. In promisies and friendships. In teachings and favors. We invest in each other. We make quite a web connecting from person to person, all over the world. interrace, intergender, international. So some people invest more than they can give and end up with too many people coming to them for things they can't provide. I don't think that this is a serious probelm if it is only one person because people typically invest in mulitple people. So when one person doesn't come through, it doesn't matter all that much in the big picture. I feel that the only problem is a mass break in the web. If a whole bunch ofpeople drop, and completely erase themselves from this web, then there just aren't enough remaining investors to bring it back up, and we fall into ...I don't know, chaos. So if too many people break the web of investments, we all fall down. I'm not sure what percentage of investors need to break to stop the whole train but I doubt it is more than 51%. So that would end up making The Great Psychological Depression.
So... I dont know how that relates to anything, but it's cool with me. I think a valid reason is to change people's lives...for the better. Doing so hopefully shows them that we can reach out and do something useful. Even at my age, I try and help the future. Teaching should be one of the highest paying jobs of all. They are the ones that keep providing the docters, presidents, politicol leaders, judges, lawyers, janitors and ther teachers. If they stopped teaching, the web breaks. Because nobody is able to continue the cycle. The human race would not be able to advance, because we stopped learning.
I have a funny fascination with learning sometimes. Like I really want to know the complexities of things. I guess I just sometimes feel like they could be making it up. I guess it goes down to a skepticism of the teachers. If they just say that something is because they say it is. Then I have no reason to honestly believe them. Now if they teach me and show the proff, then they learn and im getting tired

Night

OK, so right off the bat, please take into account that I have changed. I feel it is for the better. You all can either come with me or stay behind. your choice.

Secondly. I noticed today how many different ways there are to think about things. I mean, you could try and think of things optimistically and for the better. Thinking positivly and always trying to see and do the best. Or you can think pesimistically, negitivly, looking for the worst that could happen. And then all of the gray areas. If this happens what about this? I mean, at any moment, I could chooser to go AWAL and abandon everyone. Or chose to give up and just stop living. (im not going suicidal, just thinking here).
Which brings me to another point, choice. I am trying to take more responsibility for my actions. Telling the truth and not lying about my emotions, no matter how bad they are. Sometimes, this makes me feel like a selfish bastard. Other times, it makes me feel really caring. But I do now honestly believe that almost everything that a person does is a choice. Example. Getting up in the morning. What time? (choice) No alarmclock or didn't set it (choice) what about after you wake up.(im sure you can see where this is going). Everything is a choice. Not all consequences are choices however. They are merely reactions to choices that happen. So please, I urge everyone to take a little more responsibility. If something goes wrong, take the blame if you deserve it. I just find it amusing sometimes that people can't face the reality of the fact that 98 percent of anything that happens to you is your chpice in some form or another.
Now we can learn from not so good choices. Always. Boy's State tought me that...as well as alot of other things that are going to take a while to come out. and I continue to learn from all of the amazing people I met.

For one week, I lived with the best. I worked with the best. I was the Best. and I have new ideas, new ethics, and a new view on life to show for it.
If you don't like it, come to my house, look me in the eye and tell me that.

What we say, and what we think, and what we know, are, in the end, of little consequnece. All that is of consequnce is what we do.

Wow. There is so much to talk about and I dont even know where to start. But who ever does.

So, first a little bit about Boy's State. It is a government acmp where boys from all around Michigan go and roleplay government in pretty astounding detail. They had a saying there. Learn by doing. and I did learn. I learned what not to do. I learned that its ok to talk to people. It's ok to share what I feel. I don't have to hold everything in.

But I have felt a change in myself, and there are so many reason's why. But I never want to lose this feeling. Everyone played such an important part. We all worked so hard. We were a team, a family. We made mistakes together and we bounced back together. We were, no... we are, such a strong group. I dont want to lose touch. For all of those who read this please call me or email me or IM me. Don't let this pass you by! If any of you want to spend a day in Ann Arbor with me just give me a ring and I'll be there. Don't be a stranger.

Now for my psychological rant.
I hear all of these stories and these defeats that people have had. I listen to them, I hear their pain and I take it in. I realize that I have it really good. it seems to me that people, when they want attention (especially me) will begin to make myself depressed or upset. What gives me strength is the fact that somebody is worse off than I am. I know that sounds kind of mean but think about it. Knowing that there is somebody out there who is worse off, or in a worse situation than you are nearly belittle's your problem. It gives you hope. I think that is what happened to a good friend of mine.

Finally, I need to speak of a person that I just met, who I feel close to. Josh. If or when you read this, please know that I am amazed at what you were able to achieve. You were able to come back to this camp, more or less one year old than the group you led, and you were able to open yourself to us and that, in turn, allowed me to open myself to others and to myself. Please don't lose touch. I'll come and visit you at GVSU some time. And you know that you are required to attend our little reunion thing later.

I think why these camps are so great is that you get a new start. You dont have to depend on your past, or worry about what has happend in the past. That all doesn't matter. You don't need to worry about what problems you will face with certain people,. because you don't know anybody and you get a new begining. It is yours to do with what you will. Use it or abuse it. Just don't hesitate to grab it and go from there. You can't go through this world alone. I've tried and it doesn't work. So if you can't get throught to anybody else, or if I am on your list of people to call, then do. Don't let it fall.

And to everyone, call me sometime. I don't want to lose what we have. So I bid you good night and I'll see you all in the morning, bright and early. 6:55 at Norbert, see you there.

One of the most rediculous and hypocritical statements that one can ever make is telling someone not to change. For, wether they like it or not, people are always changing. Alot of people dont notice it because they are changing with their friends. look at it like a river. From shore, it looks like the river is moving, but for those chaging (on the river) it is the shore that is moving. Thus when everybody is in the same boat (nice analogy I get 5 extra points) they don't look like they are moving to each other.
So why then would someone ask another to not change? because they like where they are now. They enjoy the situatiuons they put themselves in and the consequences there of, good or bad. These people can't accept that all people change, except the dead. So asking someone to not change is asking them to drown. You literally push them of of the boat and onto the shore. Is that really what you want.
If by some miraculous chance a perosn is able to stay the same, and you continued on in your life for a few years and came back, things would be different because you changed. Just imaginge what will hapen when two people change at a time, major change action goin on there.

Unfortuntatly, nature has a way of making life difficult. So I think there are things that don't change too much or at least not very quickly. One of those things is a person's personality. The kinds of traits they have. Things like how much a person cares about certain things, or whether they like or dislike doing stuff. Food is a good example. Not very often do people all of the sudden like the foods they loathed in the past. It simply just does not work. So, you can't really tell people to change either. Isn't that a shame. Well, even if you did, the person you told would have to have a serious passion for changing.
Plus, to change, it takes major life events or events that push your limits and improve you. Kinda like going to a ropes course or on a wilderness trip. Those things test your strengths, weaknesses, and end up changing you as a result of the exerience. In other words, people don't change on a whim. The point is that if you don't like the way they are, there isn't much you can do about it. Either leave or get used to it.

... wow that was dark

hypocrite

I agree with the comment below. The nerve of some people to misuse words... sigh.
For those for you who easily misinterperate things, this post is simply to teach people what a hypocrite is. I have heard the term misused far to many times.

Dependence

Dependence is a nasty little habit. When people become dependant, they obviously need someone to hang on to and they don't rely on themselves. Independence I think is one of the most valuable skills in the world. For once someone has the skill to be independent, they are able to be a leader in most respects.

Now, I admit that not all dependence is bad. For example, depending on a parent for housing, food and clothing. That isn't a bad thing, just as long as you are responsible enough to take over that position after you say, move out of the house and have a family of your own. On the other hand, dependence in an emotional stance is an awful thing. For once somebody can't rely on them selves to handle their emotions, they need to rely on others, which is difficult for both parties.

This is where religion can play an awesome part. Let's start with the easiest case. A child is brought up with religion in their lives, and follows and believes it until they die. This person is probably going to be independent, emotionally at least, because they can handle it. For the things they can't handle, they have their God(s).

That is why true religion rocks. (That is of course talking only about those religions that have God(s) that partake in this kind of God/believer relationship) Because, for example in Christianity, there is God, who will always be there for you to talk or pray or . . . communicate with/too. So you don't have to rely on other people.

New example. Child who has never been brought up in active religion or ever does. This child is independent because they learned how to deal with their emotions sufficiently. Since it is pretty much impossible for a person to always deal with their emotions, they break down once every long while. Oh well.

Third Case. One whose has been brought up with religion, but gives it up or just doesn't believe it. One of two things can happen. Independent: They don't believe in their religion, understand that fact, deal with their own emotions. Dependant: Don't really believe in their religion, take every single problem they have, ones that they would have communicated with God with and gone through with, and have everyone else deal with them .... with them. Oh well.

If you are reading this far, you deserve a cookie. I really don't think anybody in their right mind would take the time to read this just because of the fact that I wrote it. If anyone would like to discuss this with me, please go ahead. Note also that having an opinion and expressing it, thus engaging in discussion, is not an argument, despite what some people think. It is merely a discussion. These seem to go best when over the internet, and not in person, because the Human mind is feeble and unable to think how they would normally think when with other Humans.

So What about those reality TV shows. Aren't they just awesome! I mean come on, figure out the flaws in human behavior. The best ones are the ones that can't be changed at al, then finding the people that fit together like a bicycle fits into a small cell phone, and make them do ridiculous things. Ahhh I love humans. The only race to do most of what we do for pleasure. We live to work. Where as many other folk work to live. Why can't America care about life and family and health instead of money and.... oh wait I'm not sure the majority of America cares about anything else.

Whoa.
I just like typed an essay...
...
Wicked
Yeah so I’m done for the night.... morning.

my mom gave me this haircut...........
and then she died!


:gasp: :gasp: :gasp: :gasp: :gasp: :gasp: :gasp: :gasp: :gasp: :gasp: :gasp: :gasp:

:Stare (with fork at mouth) :
>>
<< >>

"hee ho hee ho hee ho" :cut the meat:


.....

...these peas are amazing!

Colin:
In light of the recent video production of Douglas Adams' brilliant series of books, beginning with The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy; I pose everyone to find the question to the freighting simple, yet massively complex answer to life the universe and everything: 42.

I believe however that this answer, or well question, will not come so easily. First one must discover what it is they live for. This varies interpersonally and intrapersonally depending on how people are feeling and who they are with. That is the funny thing about the human mind isn't it? That people will voluntarily change their minds to try and have others view them in a better (or worse) light.

This brings me to another point. It seems that the main driving force behind people is the will to please others. If you think about it, the real reason you do the majority of what you do is to please others. Whether it is your girl/boyfriend, parent, teacher, god, or peer; there is always going to be some person that influences you to say or do certain things. So why do people feel they need to always make the,selves look good? Because they want to have something that the other person has.

This is the next step. Everyone has something another person wants. Material or emotional, there is always something. So, to get it, people tend to become friends with this new person in hopes that they will give them what they want or they can just take it. So far, it looks to me that there are a lot of greedy people out there.

So, "How might one become selfless?" one might say. By excluding yourself from everyone else. Plain and simple, if you are by yourself, and have no reason to stay or leave, you have succeeded in not wanting anything. Unfortunately, this also typically entails not having any reason to live...or die. That really doesn't end well. For those of you who don't prefer self-inflicted death, try joining the Marine Corps. The successfully break down all sense of your self and rebuild it in the form of we. Remember the book "Anthem"? Remember how annoying it was to read all of those "we"s and "our"s. *shudder* That is how you become selfless.

But for us lazy Americans who refuse to acknowledge the worth of other cultures and the fact that we aren't the only people on the Earth. Think of the children! .....Yeah

So In hopes that this will expand into a full flexed discussion, please email me with any additions you have. Please don't repeat anything that has already been said. And please stay on topic. Note: Items may or may not be posted due to content or....Other reasons that I refuse to state because they don't exist... I mean...

So until next time....


So long and thanks for all the fish.

Only once a year do I get to be (mostly) awake for 29.5 hours and physically exaughst myself to the limit! Everybody to the limit!!!

Imagine, in the center of the screen a small yellow dot. look close. I know its hard to see. But you have good vision. You can see it. And slowly, you see, it begins to grow...


....and grow and grow

and you realize that it is not a dot, but a small face. This face stares back at you and comes ever so cautiously closer.When it realizes that you are no threat it gets larger and larger and comes out of the screen and gives you a big wet dog slobbery kiss

....Now open your eyes.

If you imagined anything about a doggy face. You cheated. You weren't supposed to look.

Sweet,
I knew she knew.
That just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Don't feel too bad.
I'll accept hatever you choose......





......but I will be bitter and spitefull ; ) (just kidding)

In the dark, he couldn't tell whether the line had gone slack because she was coming back to him or because she had cut herself free.

Motto touku made isshyo ni yuketara nee

Ureshikute sore dakede

Omoi de wa itsumo kirei dakedo

Sore dake ja onaka ga suku wa

Honto wa setsunai yoro nanoni

Doushite kashira? Ano hito no egao mo omoi dasenai no

Coo, im better

"What's your favorite dish?

I'm not gonna cook it

but I'll order it from Zanzibar!!!"

Emotion: Crappy
Song: Tribute

Be you angles?

and we said

Nay, we are but men FUCK




...Just a tribute

Life is too short so love the one you got cause you might get runover or you might get shot Never had to battle with no bulletproof vest
Never start no static I just get it off my chest
Take a small example A tip from me take all of your money and give it up to charity
Lovin's what I got It's within my reach
And the sublime style's still straight from long beach
It all comes back to you you're gonna get what you deserve
Try and test that you're bound to get served
Love's what I got
Don't start a riot
You feel it when the dance gets hot
That's why I don't cry when my dog runs away
I don't get angry at the bills I have to pay
I don't get angry when my Mom smokes pot, hits the bottle and goes back to the rock
Fuckin and fighting it's all the same Livin' with Louie dog's the only way to stay sane
Let the lovin come back to me

yah man

A person is smart. People are dumb.

Everything they've ever "known" has been proven to be wrong. A thousand years ago
everybody knew as a fact, that the earth was the center of the universe. Five
hundred years ago, they knew it was flat. Fifteen minutes ago, you knew we humans
were alone on it. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.

sometimes, i'm not sure I care

If you walk away, I'll walk away

I had a sudden realization today:

We are brought up to not help people that are far enough done that their problems will effect our life. My heart, brain, and body wamt to stop on the side of the road and help people I don't know, but my instinct says why? Why would you stop, take time out of your own life, and do something that won't reap you anything? I need to over come my instincts.


But greed is a bottomless pit And our freedom’s a joke We’re just taking a piss And the whole world must watch the sad comic display If you’re still free start running away

My suit coat was the last piece. I was ready. All dressed up, had my horn, and the quintet had already awrmed up. We went to where everything was set up and got our instruments. We took our cases to the back and got our horns out and got ready to play. We played various classical songs with a few others thrown in between. We played for a good hour for our audience. Then, when we were finished, we left our chairs and stands and put our instruments away. As I was walking back, I reflected. Walking past the shampoo, and the pop and candy. Next past the childrens toys and cheap gimmicks. I thought on how I am going to look back on this day, our first gig. Then I left, walking out the doors of the Dollar General thinking what our next gig is going to be.

I wonder when that period is where you stop worrying so much about everything, and just start looking at things with a strange kind of cynical amusement. Where everything becomes less confusing and brilliantly incisive. One can only look to the future and nolonger to the imminent and inevetable pain that comes from living in the past. I see so many young ones question everything they do, whether it is right or wrong, weather to be cogitative or hedonistic, (listen to the super ego or the ID). To me, that is too much thought in general. My message to you: It doesn't matter what you do. All of my friends have good intentions and that is enough if you put your mind to it. Stop thinking and just do it. Loosen up kids. You know you are doing the right thing SO STOP WORRYING... it isn't good for your health.


"Think enough and you won't know anything." - Kenneth Patchen.....

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

He had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but then, he had hoped for so many things over the years...

Attention Viewers:

From hence forth, I here by declare that I am giving up fast food. This ban will continue until the afore mentioned food becomes healthy. The only exception is pizza.

PLease help me in my little promise to myself.
Thanks for listening.

See you next time. Same time. Same place.

Note to Self:

"Self, don't not do anything for 5.5 hours"

¡Yay for getting a I on our quintet and an 84 on my Solo Yay!

I ain't got nobody...

..... and nobody is for me



now, normally, this would sound like a sad phrase. Think about it. Then listen to this.

She said she had to travel light, and then she gave it back.

It all boils down to one quotable phrase:

If you love something, give it away

NEWS FLASH

SNOWDAY THEOLOGY

1) School can only be canceled when it is at an inopportune time for me.

2) I must be completely dressed and ready to go before the call can be made.(I don't think you get this on a crew day. I have two bags to pack, and put on all of my rowing work out cloths under my normal cloths. That way, they canceller can laugh at me when I have to take them all off again....such a pain.

3) It must be early in the morning, e.g. 5:45; and I must be walking out the door to go to crew.

4) The person on the phone must dramatically pause as to tease all children into thinking there is school. (p.s. for all of you not at Saline, the normal, everyday message is "Thank You for calling Saline Schools." That means we do have school.) e.g. "Thank you far calling Saline Schools..(3 second pause)..Today is [insert day,date] ...(another 3 second pause)...and school is.....(5 second pause)....c....aaaaaaaa.......nceledfortoday(he says that last part really fast)

5) Always After the call, I must, yes it is a requirement, I must have no idea whether I should go back to bed for oh say 1.5 hours; or stay awake even though I didn't get a whole lot of sleep.

6) Also, everyone must be overcome with a feeling of joy due to the snowday which disregards all previous feelings of badness from numbers 1 - 5.

kinda wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life. i really wish I did. Im thniking I will major in spansh and be all awesome and fluent...then i need to major in something else. hmmm, maybe i dunno...any ideas? maybew buisness or something. I dunno. Maybe parks and rec... or experiential educaiton, or physics. I really have no idea. Give me some ideas please!!!!!

WEll, I just got back from the MRPA confernce and let me tell you it was quite a trip. I met the person that is the complete and total embodyment of what I want to be, and learned a few things about myself. Thanks everyone, especially you, for showing me what I can do, and who I can really be.

Quotes of the time being:

" You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you're satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you've got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you. - Fight Club........You can keep the beach, I didn't come here for the sand - Troy...........Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. - Fight Club.................Somewhere beyond the sea; Somewhere waiting for me; My lover stands on golden sands; And watches the ships that go sailing - Beyond the Sea..............Ever since I started working , every day has been worse than the one before. That means each time you see me, that's on the worst day of my life. - Office Space............If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball -Dodgeball............I love...lamp. -Anchorman................................................................................................................................................................................................wow....dork............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. If you are reading this now, you have wasted (as of right now, this very moment)2 minutes and 28 seconds (exactly) of your life. You deserve a cookie. Get in touch with me and I will seriously buy you a cookie. BUT! you can NOT!!! N - O - T NOT!!!! tell anyone that I am giving out cookies. If I even think that you knew about it before hand, the cookie deal is off and the person who told you owes me a cookie! "

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm garlic apples in the uni-verse (oooo-knee-verse)

So... I was up really really late the other week and did a bunch of writing. But im afraid to read it because it was really early and probably really really awful.

Ill have those up soon


see you cats later

My Brutal Beautiful Miserable X Rated Harlequin Innocent Selfish Childish ChemicalRomance

Jeanblue - Incessantly Interesting. You are one of
the more interesting, and fascinating people
anyone will ever meet. You're very 'deep' and
you have an appreciation for art, and love. You
value things much more than people may realize.
You're intelligent, and probably prosper in
most things you do.


Which eye colour are you?
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I have nothing to say